I often hear from panicked spouses who don't know what to do now that their "other woman" and their wife are comparing notes. This often happens because, for whatever reason, the other woman feels compelled to spill the beans. And although the cheating spouse will often do everything in his power to stop the communication, the other woman LovingFeel.com Reviews refuses to stop the communication and the two women are now speaking regularly. And as a result, both women are seeing that the husband was telling them two different stories and, in a sense, lying to them both.
You might hear the husband say
something like: "I know that cheating was wrong and I never intended for
the affair to become a long term thing. But I developed feelings for the other
woman. And she is someone who is very honorable. She didn't want to have a
relationship with me because I was married. So I told her that my marriage was
in trouble. This wasn't exactly true. My wife and I had gone through a rough
patch. I never intended to end my marriage. But I didn't tell the other woman
that. This was awful of me. I know that now. I realize that I strung the other
woman along. Well, the other woman got tired of that. So she called me wife and
told her everything. At first my wife, hung up on her. But she called again the
next day. And the next. And now they are talking regularly. LovingFeel They have almost become friendly. And they
talk about me. At this point, they both act like they hate me. They both refuse
to talk to me. I understand that, in a way. And quite frankly, even though I
have feelings for other woman, I don't care as much as to how she feels about
me. Because I never intended for that relationship to last. And I would let it
go in an instant to get my wife back. I care very much about my marriage with
my wife. And I want it back more than anything. But my wife would rather talk
to the other woman than to me. I asked the other woman not to call anymore but
she said I can't control what she does and that my wife actually wants to talk
to her. What can I do?"
Well, the strategy that is going to
be effective is going to depend upon whether or not its true if your wife is
willingly communicating with the other woman. Because if the other woman was
forcing communication with your wife, then you could change your phone number and
take other steps toward stopping the communication.
But, if your wife is a willing
participant, then there is not much that you can do other than to stress to
your wife that you'd like to save your marriage and that you can not do that
until the other woman is out of both of your lives.
Don't be surprised though if she
isn't receptive to this at first. As a wife who has dealt with infidelity, I
can offer some information as to why she could be receptive to the other woman
right now. From my own experience, I'd suspect that she is trying to gather
information. She wants to know what she is up against. And she knows that you
have an interest in slanting the story for your own benefit. In her own mind,
she is trying to get to the truth. She likely intends to hear everything that
the other woman LovingFeel.com has to say
and she may eventually hear what you have to say with the intention of
comparing the two stories and seeing what rings true to her.
There isn't much that you can do to
prevent this process. She's bound to be naturally curious and she has every
right to attempt to get the whole story. You could try promising her that you
are going to tell her the entire, complete, and truthful story so that she
doesn't have to get it from someone else. But she may not take you up on that.
I'd suggest trying to be open,
honest, and forthcoming and then having patience and allowing your wife to come
to you. Pressuring her or forbidding her to speak to someone are not going to
help your cause and they may contribute to her pulling away from you even more.
You may consider trying a
conversation like: "I know that you think the other woman is trying to
offer you something. I know you think that you are getting information from
her. But I'd like for you to consider that she is giving you information meant
to hurt me and meant to make me lose my marriage. The truth is, she is
motivated by anger. I understand that what happens with our marriage is completely
up to you. I understand that you may need time or that you may never want to
forgive me. But before you make any decisions, I hope you will hear me out. I
am so very remorseful for this. I am so very over the other woman. What I want
more than anything in the world is to make this up to you and to retain my
family. I know that my own actions have put that in jeopardy. But I hope that
one day you will give me the chance."
Notice that this conversation did
not ask her not to see the other woman. That is over stepping at this point and
that makes it look like all you care about is stopping her from getting
information. You want to instead show her that what you care about most is your
marriage and her well being. And you must be sincere about this.
Focus first on trying to establish
communication with your wife. The hope is that this will make her more
interested in the idea of saving your marriage which will naturally make her
less interested in talking to the other woman.
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